My Struggles Through the Years

I have been asked in interviews about my book, Dominatrix on Trial, to compare my struggles, my trials, in my younger years to the legal battles I have fought. I was first busted for having an escort service, with dominatrix services as well, in 1986 and have basically been fighting in courts since that time.

I was born in 1959. For the first 30 years of my life my struggles were for survival. I sometimes had to steal to eat. I had to sell my body in the most dangerous ways possible. I was so down and out and desperate most of the time that the only people I could associate with were those on the margins and things like drug and alcohol abuse, which got them there, rubbed off on me. I was always just responding to the needs of the day and mistakes of the days before. I was almost always in over my head. Sometimes from poor judgment, sometimes from desperation. When I wrote about those days in my memoirs I glossed over some things just to keep my story moving, because I think the reader was getting the idea. I tried to tell about some times when things went well for me, but didn’t last because I was either betrayed, or I screwed up, or changes occurred that were not anybody’s fault.

My later struggles however were of a very different type. My time as a dominatrix and the behavior of the authorities in my cases brought me many allies. I did not struggle alone. Now the struggles are carried on for me, as I must struggle with my chronic health problems. I stand by what I wrote in my memoirs. I have regrets, but not about fighting for what is right and just. That makes me a winner.

The Life of a Dominatrix

I devoted about 4 chapters in my memoirs 'Dominatrix on Trial' to describing how I operated as a dominatrix. For those who are curious about the lifestyle I want to say that being a dominatrix, or dom, can mean a number of possible lifestyles.

For those who do outcalls only it means you just pack a bag of equipment and perhaps clothing, or wear your fetish wear under an overcoat, and go to the client’s home or hotel room. Other doms will have a small “dungeon”, perhaps even one bedroom in an apartment or a bachelor apartment set up as a dungeon. Yet other doms will rent dungeons in which to see their clients. So different doms use different locations.

Some doms will work in teams and share clients, whatever their locale. Others will hire someone to handle all phone calls and just go to sessions or be in their dungeons when the clients arrive. If the dom has an extensive dungeon she must clean and tidy up or have it done for her. Some will allow loyal clients, slaves, to exchange their labor for sessions or just to be around her and her staff.

What is common to all is that they must have records kept and be aware of what laws they must observe concerning licensing, taxes and prostitution. The latter, as we are well aware, is a fiasco in Canada and now before the courts. They must have good records kept like client files, schedules and contact information of associates.

The job part of the lifestyle is as much like another job as it is unlike it. It means responsibility and work, as well as creativity and role playing. The personal part of the lifestyle can be as much or as little as the dom wants it to be.

In my book I tell all about that. I hope you will read it.

Thoughts on the 1994 Raid

When I first realized I was being raided I was shocked and angry. I had been there doing this openly for almost two years. I had checked with lawyers, a couple of whom were clients, to ensure legality. I had run my dominatrix house as if all visitors, repeat all, were police.

There was absolutely no need for a SWAT team. There was absolutely no need for them to strip the place almost clean by seizing 700 items, most of them everyday items. There was no need to mock us. And they didn’t have to call a press conference the day after the raid to display what they had had taken. They could have just charged me or given me a ticket and awaited trial. I knew this during the raid and it was raised in subsequent legal proceedings.

In future I was actually glad they made such a big splash, because it led to my profile in the media where I could advocate for my rights and bring big issues to national attention and publish my story as well.

I’m not sure what I would have done differently. I had a chance to run a first rate dungeon and facility for adult role play. I had a chance to earn a decent living. My dream of running such a facility came true, and the cause brought me allies to enable me to rise up again with another facility a few years later and bring forth my book. I don’t think, looking back, I would have changed a thing I had done.

Being Exposed to the Public: How It Feels

For me, today, it feels good. Not embarrassing now. After all, I have a book for sale and some causes to advocate. This means that long ago I accepted that my life would become an open book itself.

The opening of that book began in Windsor in 1986 when my dungeon and escort service was busted and my name and face were in the papers. Then in 1994 came the big raid near Toronto and I was again front page news but this time in Toronto, and my name was very exposed; as were the private practices I sold to the public. When I fought the charges I was interviewed and photographed continually and my private life and history discussed continuously in the media. Nothing the people I am closest to privately see in the media takes them by surprise.

So I have got used to living as a public figure. I did so gradually. I love to talk and fight for what I believe in and, as I say, I just published my memoirs (go to my website terrijeanbedford.com if you are interested) so for me it is now second nature to live my life knowing that everyone who knows who I am knows my history, public and formerly private. However the fact that it is now second nature does not always make it easy.

Public Reactions to My Memoirs - II

I am pleased to be able to tell you that the formal launch of my memoirs in the United States began earlier this week. The book was made available on the web sites of major retailers, such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Border and Chapters Indigo over the last month. There is usually a period of a couple of months for retailers to gradually begin their promotions, and this is a very quiet time of the year, being the end of summer vacations.

I do not have sales figures, as these don’t become available for some months yet. However, Barnes & Noble has conferred their Rising Star designation immediately and will be featuring the book. Early reactions from the industry have been most encouraging. The professionals in the publishing industry have been telling us that the book is a well paced page-turner and is well written. They have been impressed with the number of events and persons the book deals with and find my story to be a fascinating one.

I myself consider that I have been at the centre of a number of fascinating stories, and the number of people who have helped me over the years, such as the lawyers, activists and the group I call The Dozen, are as much the story as me. This is also part of their stories. It is also a Canadian story, about how Canadian society has dealt with the matters surrounding me and those who have stood with me, for me and against me.

I cannot begin to yet again express my gratitude to those who helped me write these memoirs. The editors at iUniverse were amazing. My personal lawyer, Sender Herschorn, reviewed the manuscript and made countless recommendations. In the early years the man called Scott in the book and the woman called Camilla, helped me draft some of the chapters about those times. This is their book too.

I hope you enjoyed or enjoy reading it.

Introducing Myself and Why I Wrote the Book

You may have just started reading my blogs now so let me introduce myself. I am Terri-Jean Bedford, Canada’s most famous dominatrix. I presume you know what a dominatrix is. If you don’t you are going to learn some very interesting things. On my website terrijeanbedford.com you can order my book. That tells you about all I can about the craft of the dominatrix. It also tells about my legal battles fought over a period of 15 years.

It is because of those legal battles that I became famous. Before I came into the public eye I had an early childhood of severe poverty, a youth of abuse and neglect, and wild teenage years filled with drugs and prostitution. My years as a young woman were like that too, until I became a dominatrix. When I was charged with prostitution despite not selling sex I fought the charges and supporters came from all over. My final legal battle, waged beside two other courageous women and with three great lawyers headed by Professor Alan Young – a Canadian institution in himself. It led to the striking down of Canada’s prostitution laws; a stunning legal victory that is still under appeal. I am now in my fifties, very ill and may not have long to live. I spend any time I can with my grandson and daughter and close friends.

My supporters wanted me to tell my story in book form. Right from the time I was raided I kept notes and drafted chapters. I would sometimes put the draft on the market to get reactions and raise a bit of money. So the book that was published in June and is now being launched formally in August is really the completion of a work in progress. I was going to finish it and self publish in 2005 or 2006 but when the constitutional challenge began it seemed to make sense to wait a bit longer and tell a more interesting story. My main reason for writing the book was to explain why I fought, what I fought, why I got so much support and to tell the world what needs to be done to protect freedom and improve the safety of women.

If the book makes money that’s great. But I wanted to be heard, and from what the marketing people overseeing the formal launch of the book tell me I am being read and will be for a very long time.

Public Reaction to My Memoirs - I

My book “Dominatrix on Trial” has been available on the Internet through retails like Chapters Indigo, Amazon and Barnes and Noble for about 2 weeks now. These companies will promote the book more when the printed books arrive. I am told that this is quite normal.

I only approved the actual hard and soft cover productions just over a week ago. In the coming days it will arrive in the bigger Chapters stores in Toronto, Vancouver and Ottawa. You can also order a hard or soft cover book by following the instructions on this website. The major retailers should soon be offering it by both delivery and download.

From what I am told it has been starting to sell electronically in a number of countries. Early words of reaction have been reaching me. In the main people have been very surprised by what they read. The length and complexity of my legal battles came as a surprise to many. Others were also surprised by how elaborate the goings on in my houses were. Yet others have told me they were reduced to tears by the hardships they read about.

But the most common reaction was that as they read they became more and more “angry”. What seemed to anger them was the failure of the authorities to do justice, and how someone has to fight just to fight back. I’ll leave it at that for now.

For those of you who have bought it, or those who will, I thank you most sincerely.